Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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