do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
