What a fucking waste of an outfit
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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