last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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