I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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