Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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