Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
