"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
