i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
