I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
