walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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