no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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