I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
