Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You've changed since you got that strap on
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
