So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
