we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
