my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
how does that bad decision feel?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
