What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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