some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
