the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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