I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
it glows. i had to have it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
