I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
