i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
