Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
