he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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