He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
