My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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