you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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