hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
