Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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