walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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