I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
