So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
