So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
