my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Vodka?
Forever.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When are your genitals available?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
