Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Found the puke drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize