I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
