when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
