This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
