I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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