I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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