Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
