i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
