I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
