North Korea, Best Korea!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
