I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
