I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
