I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
