You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
