So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
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We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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