And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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