There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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