i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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