Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
