I queefed so loud it echoed.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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