the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
