I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So many bounce houses so little time
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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