I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I want to have your abortion
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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