And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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